from funny auto insurance claims
"I was driving along the motorway when the police pulled me over onto the hard shoulder. Unfortunately I was in the middle lane and there was another car in the way.." (Thanks M Robson)
"Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early.." (Thanks N Bradley)
"The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind." (Thanks Sharon Burrows)
"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."
Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident? A: Travelled by bus?
"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"
"I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk."
"Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo."
"The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"
"I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."
"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face"
"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car"
"I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."
"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."
"Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."
"I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it."
"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."
"I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."
"As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before."
"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian."
"I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull."
"I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him."
"The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him."
"I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car."
"The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."
"The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing. "
"I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before."
"When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car."
"I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries."
"The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him."
"The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week."